what do you do when you're rejected from your safety?

Things just keep going wrong. wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong.
I'm miserable. I've been getting rejection after rejection from Grad schools, and it's making me feel worthless. It makes me feel like all the work I've done the last four years have not been enough. It's so saddening and it makes me feel like shit. (yea, I am going to rant on this post, to avoid from bursting into tears at the library. and theres no one online for me to vent to. figures.)
I got a rejection from my SAFETY school. yea, that happened. Like what the hell????? Totally was not expecting that.
I had an interview this weekend at northeastern, but I'm not getting my hopes up as they interviewed 40 people for 12 spots. Don't think I have a chance. I have an interview at UCLA in 2 weeks, but i just dont know.
I DONT KNOW. What do I do if i dont get in anywhere?? Never did I think I would be in this situation, never. I thought I had a lot of experience, had a great GPA and grades, but nope. Nada. Bye dreams.
Im being over dramatic, but I wanted to go right to school after undergrad. Why the fuck is it so hard.
So I have that going on. I just can't focus on my work because my brain is in over drive.
I thought my interviews went so well though, I dont know what happened. One of the professors even told me that I was a fabulous candidate and what he could tell me to go there. LIKE how do you explain that???
One of my friends from Umass got on the waitlist. i got flat out REJECTED.
FML.
Also, I feel lonely. My roommates are great, but theyre not around a lot and we never hang out. I spend my nights sitting in my room by myself, thinking about doing homework, but end up wasting my time on facebook. I thought when I came back to Umass things would be different, that my friends would be so excited that I was back, and that they would want to see me and we would hang out all the time. But now i feel like its a chore, and that I'm bugging people to hang out and they dont want to. It makes me so sad. I'm always the one texting people to see if they want to do something, and the answer is always know. Even simple lunch or dinner cant be bothered. Its been weeks since I've seen my friends. When I'm around on the weekends, no one wants to do anything, no one wants to go out and do things. But on the weekends that I have an interview and am not around, everyone goes out, gets wasted, has a good time. And I read about it later and just want to cry because I missed a good time for a school that I'm probably not going to get into.
No one came to see me my first day back at UMass. No one. I feel like I have no friends. The people that I spent the last 3 years with have moved on, and i feel like I am no longer part of the group.
Love life woes, lets just say douche bag over winter break left with another girl in front of my face. leave it at that.
and now, I dont even have the energy to go to the gym. I was planning on going at 4 but Im not in the mood. I'm going to force myself to go, but even then, Im not going to be putting in 100%.
Wah.
I feel stupid, fat, ugly, lonely, lowlife, loser, that has to beg people to hang out with me, people that maybe hate me for reasons I don't know.
What did i do to deserve this?
I mean, I know people are busy, but no one makes the time or effort to see me. One of my roommates that was also abroad last semester hangs out with her friends every day. EVERY DAY. they were excited to see her the first day back and she wasnt around the apartment because she was with them.
sigh.
sigh.
sigh.
I just want to curl into a ball and cry cry cry.
:(
when will I get a break?
I'm sick of being rejected, both academically and socially. fuck my life.